Life has a method of telling people to be good, and we are benchmarked and forgiven by what we read, understand, aspire for and do. With some concern and discernment, a feel of life and a refining of soul takes place. The last five years of my life has been pretty eventful, and for this, I prepare to mild and tone to the music of family grace.
While HwaChong has been a horse race with me on the busy track, lack of non-academic discipline and and foresight causes my displacement. Well, I learnt that academic performance is not as important as life virtues and science does display only a dimension of life. Also, for success to befriend you, a good and completely synchronized lifestyle is clearly in order.
In Canada, I found the balance of study and school responsiblities in the first year, and while I am not a leader by nature in Year 1, a heavenly scholarly feel is upon me, and a rainbow of opportunity is given to me to serve. I do what I can. I learnt about family ties when I am overseas. A feel of parental trust and close affinity with my grandma drives me the need for success in life.
When I am in second year, a more realistic outlook of life took over me, and due to some religious crisis, I struggled hard to do well in second year, and this cause me hardship without any reward, while faithfully, my love for God increases, together with the very pressing need to love and prove my worth to my parents. Indeed, a critical juncture took place for I decided to quit overseas education to study locally, when I understand my parent's financial issue and when overseas education is not supplemented with good grades, the cost of being overseas and the proclaimed prestige is simply not worth the family sacrifice anymore.
Last year, I decided to study at Singapore Institute of Management, and found my solace in a modest university. Well, a feel of home cools me down. While I am nursing a weakened soul by my two big defeat of my life, which causes a sense of remorse in me, I play by safety and faith in my local university, studying leisurely and consistently, hoping for a good grade. My life is calm and simple, though the drizzles that my religion, Christianity, gave me, is tough to overcome with a low energy level, and while Christianity on its own holds a light of hope, simply I am not compatible with the theology that has given to me. While the praise, love and reverence of God is forever true, the guidance of life in Christian theology is not compatible to the lovely wisdom of this world from my situation, that is painted from a pragmatic, realistic, humanist and scientific outlook. While compassionate faith in an innocent man was my pillar of hope, a turn to the wisdom of life, and the love of family turns me to Buddhism. For this, I feel humbled greatly, for many drastic changes has happened in a period of five years, and I hope life to blend in well with holistical development again.
A morose wind is slowly brewing. The wisdom of God is masterly shown by how the Almighty can turn crisis to life's fine lessons, and ring a tune of hope in man. I am learning the artful service of music, a joyous gift that harmoniously eases the journey of my companions in life and me. The passion of vegetarianism also open a more brighter future with nature. I have been enlightened by one of science fundamental theory, entropy, and this changes my perception of life on Earth, and the future I may receive in good faith. I am also humbled and nurtured through the care of my aging Ema, who gracefully bowed down for a new leash of hope. My diligent aim is for a good classification on my university grade, hopefully and realistically, a earnest 1st class honours from my newly established university, that should restore my parents' confident in me. Recently, I have discovered a business plan, that through an altruistic understanding, may gives me the grace of wealth, and being a true millionaire may be in the acquisition for a homely dream. Clearly, there is a hope for a modest and bright future in this. The next five years, will be a ground of tight schedule, earnest effort, careful lifestyle, and pious prayer, that may gives me the joy that life may generously give, to clean up my tarnished reputation, and allows for a bountiful provision that will secures me in peace for the rest of life understandably. These are trying times, and these are interesting times. Now, may Brian, a learning man, rise to the occasion of grace, and tune in to the healing wind of compassion, love and peace that refines the heart of good intention into good reality, and cement a well-embraced future for the goodness that life brings for the deserving. I place my future in the weaver of my soul, Kuan yin, the Goddess of Compassion and Mercy.